I don't know how colons feel, but as a woman, I would like to request a new month.
During the month of March, we (or some of we) celebrate(d) these special days:
National Blueberry Popover Day, National Lemon Chiffon Cake Day, National Chocolate Covered Raisin Day, National Bavarian Crepes Day, National Fruit Compote Day, National Oreo Cookie Day, National Oatmeal Cookie Day, National Coconut Torte Day, National Pi Day, National Banana Cream Pie Day, and National Pound Cake Day. And National Dentist's Day and National American Diabetes Association Alert Day.
If you can figure out how to celebrate them, go ahead and celebrate these, too:
National Pig Day
National Bunsen Burner Day
National Cold Cuts Day
National Worship of Tools Day (this day requires worship, not celebration)
National Earmuff Day
National Cheese Doodle Day (I've heard about these, but have never seen one--they don't sell them around these parts. And I think you spell it "Cheez". "Doodle" is correct.)
Lastly, March is/was National Everything You Think is Wrong Day, National Everything You Do is Right Day as well as National Multiple Personality Day.
I was a little late with this list, but there's still time to plan for next year. Now, let's check out April...